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Why is it so hard to be single? Why do we need to feel like we belong? Even worse is the fact we tease and make fun of those who we feel is unfortunate because they don’t have that someone special… Why is that?

Scenario 1

My friend Suja and I just attended a high school friend’s wedding. The wedding was simple and the couple had been going out for about ten years. They couple looked good and the vegetarian food was simply excellent. The Boys were also there BB, Dinesh, Prekkash, Syed and Adrian. Ganesh was sitting with his wife. He did give the customary welcome so as to not offend friends, but otherwise did not exchange much. So, during the reception, somehow or rather the conversation made its way to the fact that Suja was still single. She was beautiful, slim, tall, and had a successful career. The youngest in the family. Oh and also 28!!! Two married friends especially Prekkash were very concerned about the fact that she was still single. It didn’t matter that it was her choice and that she had a fulfilling life. She was busy with work and friends. And her family was slowly beginning to wear down…apparently they have lost hope on her ever getting married. Why must she? Her past two relationships were not fantastic either. Yes she loved both her exes. They were good guys except for certain areas in life. The first one had up to three girlfriends at one time…no one was sure who was the “rightful” one. The second one has commitment problems as well. He is selfish and only thinks of himself without giving thoughts to her needs. And yet after all that happened, the important fact was that she was still single and has no prospects in sight. What was most striking was the statement Prekkash made. “I have an obligation to your parents to see that you get married. You better step it up! Do you want to me recommend someone? I know this guy from Ipoh. He is an engineer…” I was so shocked!!! How dare he assume that he has the OBLIGATION and RIGHTS to see my friend get married?!?! What right did he have?

Scenario 2

Lenny’s car brakes failed. She hit a Honda and dreaded telling her father what happened. Even worse was the fact that she had just made the decision to play truant – at WORK! So off we went to the mechanic and decided to stop by the house to show the damage to the father. In we went. Almost straight away after the relating about the car accident, the father turned his attention to me. Not to actually find out about me, but rather to see if his daughter, who is turning 33 end of this year, was working on getting a husband. Elena has been in several relationships and somehow the guys she had gone out with have not even been up to her expectations. One was two timing her, the other abusive. One more had commitment problems…and the current one she admires is seeing another lady. I know she is frustrated. It doesn’t help that her YOUNGER sister is getting hitched this Saturday and she just knows that everyone will be raising one eyebrow, giving her the LOOK!. Some more daring aunts and uncles will be asking her when it would be her turn. What could she say? That she was a failure? That nobody liked her? That she was a LOSER? What mattered most is the fact that she wants to marry and have children. Her biological clock is booming away – like the ticking of a bomb about to explode. She is fast sinking into depression.

Scenario 3

Although I have been in a nearly 9 year relationship, I really dread marriage. Yes I know that we have been living together for 7 but that is not a good enough excuse or reason to get married. I know that sometimes, the idea of having a husband seems novel but what if we meet different people, or just fall out or…just…I know this doesn’t make sense to anyone who is dying to be in a relationship but it is not as hype as it is made out to be. If you are lucky then you won’t end up with a full MCP, just half. What is great about that? Although this is a general statement, I can’t but help feel that all that I am will be lost once I agree to be a Mrs. Then my identity will be swiped away as I take on the role of the mother. Or else, everyone will ask me till my dying day if I have kids? As it is, I am playing the role of the Fiancee; right after, daughter and girlfriend.

When will I be free to be me? I cant help feel that it is all rigged to control me- what I am supposed to think, feel and how I should act is defined by the roles I am given. If not I am a failure in life. I am trying to postpone my marriage as long as I can. But the W-Day question is coming fast and furious. Everyone( at least that is how I feel) is awaiting that day…I get the question everytime I meet my relatives and friends… Of course you may ask, why not break up? Why should I ? I get a good shag, someone to talk to, someone to spend time with as and when and someone to do some things for me…selfish it may sound but what I have is good for NOW!

I don’t think there is an answer to the above question….there are only more questions to be asked…but one thing for sure…it ain’t easy being a woman…and a single one at that.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 10th, 2006 at 6:18 pm and is filed under life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.